wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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