I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
