Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
