Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
