I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
