My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
