who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
