No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
