what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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