Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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