You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
