im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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