I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
