what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
