he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Shame is for Republicans.
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