is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
