I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
