Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
