Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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