that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
