I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
