I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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