No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
