I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
