by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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