conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize