Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
