I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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