Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
