He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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