I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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