There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize