Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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