Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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