omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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