first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize