piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
