Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
