lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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