You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We left the knife in your bed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
