I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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