she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
