I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
