her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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