I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
