Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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