Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize