god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
