Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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