so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
