the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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