My room smells like vodka and shame
so explain again why im purple
no
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
