He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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