doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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