Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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