dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize