So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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