I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
