Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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