Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
