u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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