You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
