i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
