But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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