New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
