you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
