do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize