pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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