"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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