tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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