The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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