Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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